SITES OF RIGHTEOUSNESS
Sweaty Dudes [aka Sports]
Metsblog
Deadspin
Kissing Suzy Kolber
Fire Joe Morgan
Yard Work
No Mas
The Funny
My Blog Could Be Your Life
Patton Oswalt
A Special Thing
MST3K
Name of the Year
Hot Chicks with Douchebags
Subbaculcha
Bookslut
WFMU's Beware of the Blog
Flick Lives
Parental Guidance
The SocioPath to Financial Freedom!
 |
My name is Ron Vicarious and I want you to take the first step on your SocioPath to Financial Freedom!
I know it's tough to get by these days. The cost of everything is going through the roof! You can't get a high-paying job because the economy's so bad! You can't get a loan because you have bad credit! And you can't borrow against the equity in your home because you've already done that too many times! What do you do?!
I'm here to tell you that bad credit isn't your fault. Having a crappy job isn't your fault. Nothing bad in your life is your fault in any way!
If you want some more money in your pocket, you deserve it! You just need enough determination and guts to go out and get it!
Some people say there are no big opportunities anymore, but I say opportunity is everywhere you look! Right now, thousands of people walk the streets of this nation, not paying any attention to their surroundings. Do you know how many morons are out there yapping on their cell phones or listening to their iPods, just waiting for you to grab their wallets?!
How about old ladies? There's tons of them out there, weak and feeble, shuffling back from the check cashing place with their social security money! That money should be yours! They're gonna die soon anyway!
You can look to your friends for help, too. Have a successful neighbor? Invite yourself over and see if he has any leads on a business opportunity or a prime piece of real estate. And if he says he doesn't, pull a gun on him and ask him where the safe is. Guys like that always have safes where they keep the pricey stuff! If he insists he doesn't have a safe, shoot him in the kneecap! That'll get him talking! And if that doesn't work, threaten his kids!
Remember, if you want something, you should have it! You're the only person that matters!
The SocioPath to Financial Freedom will put you on Easy Street in no time! But don't take my word for it! Just listen to some of my graduates!
 |
I took Ron Vicarious' course, and within two weeks, my wife and I had made over 3 grand selling her grandmother's jewelry! And when my wife felt remorse and threatened to turn us in to the police, I killed her, made it look like an accident, and collected the life insurance! Now I'm in Brazil, living the sweet life, free from extradition! Thanks, Ron! —— Bill W., Rio de Janeiro |
 |
The SocioPath to Freedom put me in the driver's seat of my life! After taking Ron Vicarious' course, I quit my job and started an illegal data mining operation! Now, I make thousands a day with phony credit cards and blackmail schemes, all without leaving the comfort of my own home! —— Susan B., Dayton, Ohio |
You owe it to yourself to learn more about the SocioPath to Financial Freedom. Why? Because no one who has ever lived is more important than you!
Sign up for my course now and you'll receive the Ron Vicarious' Lock Picking Kit! "4 Stars!" says Home Invaders Monthly.
And remember, if you're not fully satisfied with my course, tough shit. I gotta look out for number one, man.
Posted 03.18.08 9:10pm * Permalink
Copyright 2004-08 Scratchbomb Inc. Trespassers punished by catapault