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Be It Resolved: Reagan May Have Existed
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I find it very troubling that Senator Obama would heap praise on Ronald Reagan, considering how devastating his policies were for our country's neediest citizens. |
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Senator Clinton, that accusation is patently untrue. If you look at my remarks in their full context, you'll see that I did not praise Ronald Reagan. I merely said that I'd had a layover at Ronald Reagan Airport on my way to North Carolina. |
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Well, I find it disturbing that you would fly into Ronald Reagan Airport when Dulles is still a more than serviceable alternative. |
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The record will show that I purchased a direct flight from Detroit to Raleigh, but excessive turbulence forced the pilot to make an unscheduled stopover in Washington. I admit that I purchased a copy of Fantasy Baseball Preview at a newsstand to pass the time while we waited for the weather to clear up. I have been considering taking Joba Chamberlain as high as the third round this year, a decision that I'm sure many of my fellow Americans are wrestling with at this time. |
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I believe you've displayed a tacit approval for his presidency by your unwillingness to parachute out of the plane before it touched down. |
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Nothing could be further from the truth. I assure the American people that if I'm elected president, I will constantly refer to Ronald Reagan as history's greatest monster. |
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Your policy simply does not go far enough, because it supposes the Reagan administration actually occurred. Under my presidency, all references to the years 1981 to 1989 would be stricken from the history books. |
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It's that kind of extremism that's driving voters away from the Democratic party. Surely we can just vilify the Reagan presidency at every conceivable opportunity. |
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So you actually believe the Reagan presidency occurred? |
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I believe that there was a time called the 1980s that may or may not be referred to as the Reagan Era which probably but not necessarily refers to the man that could have been kind of the president back then, maybe. |
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The fact remains that mentioning something out loud means that you love it. For instance, if you said "farts"... |
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Farts? |
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Oh my god! You said farts! That means you love farts! |
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Uh, guys, I'm pretty sure the Reagan years happened. I remember some horrible hair, and Phil Collins, and guys wearing blazers with rolled up sleeves and jeans. |
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Nobody asked you, Jethro. |
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Yeah, go chase an ambulance somewhere. |
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I'm just pointing it out. I just Googled Reagan and got, like, a million hits. He's got a Wikipedia page and everything. |
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Why are you still here, Howdy Doody? It's not like you can win. |
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This ain't Little League, you know. We don't have to let you have an at bat every inning. |
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I can totally win! The American people are ready for change! |
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If by "change", you mean "another doughy white guy". |
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You'll be handing out lots of change when you finally throw in the towel on your sorry-ass campaign. Down at the 7-11, where you'll be working behind the counter. |
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I'm a well-respected attorney! I have a law degree! |
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Maybe you can use it for a blanket when you're living out of a cardboard box. |
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You do not talk to me like that! I have a nice house! I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS! |
Posted 01.23.08 12:05am * Permalink
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