10.09.07 - Mike and the Mad Dog, Brian Cashman, and The Process

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Mike and the Mad Dog, Brian Cashman, and The Process

	MIKE: Welcome bu-hack to the Mike and Mad Dog program. Obviously, the big story today is the Yankees getting bounced from the playoffs and the fate of Joe Torre.
	MAD DOG: Myself, I would not blame Joe Torre here. There's a lotta blame to go around, Mikey. You got A-Rod, you got Posada, you got Joba Chamberlain in the mix. Not to mention the bugs from Lake Erie who invaded the field in game 2. That was a bad job by those bugs.
	MIKE: Eddie, could we get another close-up of Joba all sweaty, getting greased down by a trainer as his neck is gnawed on by gnats?
	MAD DOG: See? Those bugs don't even have tickets! What are they doing on the field?! That's a disgrace!
	MIKE: Here's one thing you gotta know. /pauses forty-five seconds If you blame Joe Torre in any way for this loss-- /waits three minutes --you know nothing about baseball. You are lu-host.
	MAD DOG: Whatever you say, Mikey. I couldn't agree more. You are correct 110 percent of the time.
	MIKE: It's actually more like 98 percent of the time.
	MAD DOG: Then 98 it is. That's definitely what I think.
	MIKE: One person who's gonna have a lot to say about whether Torre stays or not is Yankees GM Brian Cashman, and he joins us now. Brian, our first question is, does Torre stay or not?
	CASHMAN: That decision will be made by the entire front office, so I couldn't say. There's a process that ownership has put in place, and I have to honor that process.
	MIKE: When you say 'process', what do you mean?
	CASHMAN: I mean a series of sequential events whose collective effects result in an action.
	MIKE: Could you describe the process to our listeners?
	CASHMAN: First, the Yankees front office will initiate the process. Then, they will go through several steps that will advance the process. Finally, they will reach a conclusion that will end the process.
	MAD DOG: Brian, Mad Dog here. Is this process different from the kind of process you might find in, say, the Cubs front office, or the Red Sox front office?
	CASHMAN: I'm sure other front offices have their own processes. I really couldn't say. I can only comment on the Yankees process.
	MIKE: And would you care to comment on the Yankees process?
	CASHMAN: No, I would not, Mike.
	MAD DOG: So you can't tell us whether or not Joe Torre will be fired?
	CASHMAN: I can not say whether Joe will be back or not. Not until we begin the process.
	MIKE: So let's say for argument's sake that you've begun the process...
	CASHMAN: But we haven't.
	MIKE: Okay, but imagine.
	CASHMAN: I can't imagine that we've begun the process until the process has begun.
	MAD DOG: How about this: Imagine that you could imagine about the process.
	CASHMAN: The process would not permit that.
	MIKE: What will the process permit?
	CASHMAN: It is not our place to ask the process what it will and will not allow.
	MIKE: Okay, think of this. The process has been completed and the process has determined that Joe Torre should be fired. Who would the Yankees choose to replace him?
	CASHMAN: I couldn't say. We would have to go through the process in order to sift through viable candidates.
	MIKE: So you'd have to go through the process all over again? Or would this be all a part of one long process?
	CASHMAN: No, this would be an entirely new process.
	MIKE: So the Yankees have more than one process?
	CASHMAN: The process can neither confirm nor deny this.
	MIKE: Which process?
	MAD DOG: Mikey, I'm feeling kinda woozy and I keep hearing this buzzing sound, like a swarm of bees or something. And there's something oozing out of my ear, and I think it might be my brains.
	MIKE: Brian Cashman, I think you just made Mad Dog's head explode, so thanks for being on the show.

Posted 10.09.07 10:35pm * Permalink