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The Wittiest Jape of the Election Season!

	Look, my people shouldn't have compared your husband to Joe McCarthy, and your people shouldn't have compared Bill Richardson to Judas. Why don't we just agree to stop this stupid name calling?
	... No, I don't think we'll be doing that.
	Okay, how about this: we'll restrict the name calling to obscure figures from American history. That way, we can mock each other but nobody will really know what we're saying.
	That's a great idea! I'll go first. How about, pinning down your foreign policy aims is as difficult as locating Judge Crater?
	That's good, very old timey. Now my turn. Your questioning of my experience brings to mind the overblown hysteria that led to the Palmer Raids.
	Wow, the First Red Scare, very nice. Counterpoint: I find your failure to denounce Reverend Wright reminiscent of James Buchanan's reasoning for not preventing the secession of South Carolina.
	Whereas I find your courting of right-wing editorial boards that once accused you of murder bring to mind the treachery of Benedict Arnold.
	Whoah, hold on just a minute! I object strenuously to that remark! There's no way Benedict Arnold is an obscure reference!
	Okay, then. It reminds me of when Rutherford B. Hayes ended Reconstruction in order to appease Southern Democrats.
	That's better.
	Hey, what're you two young whippersnappers jabbering about?
	Hi, John. We're insulting each other using genteel allusions to American history.
	It's fun 'cause it'll only sound nasty to really smart people. Go ahead, you try it.
	How about you two tree hugging pukes eat shit and die?
	John, you didn't mention any historical figures at all! That's not how you play the game!
	Game? What game?

Posted 03.27.08 08:37pm * Permalink

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